I’m Selfish with my Personal Relationships: Here’s Why

Friends are the family members you get to choose. They are the ones with whom you share your secrets and your deep (sometimes not so deep) feelings and thoughts with. That being said, it seems obvious they should be the people in your life that you trust more than anyone else.

I read people. I always have, and I always will. It isn’t even a conscious thing. I don’t think about it, I just do it. I can tell within moments of meeting you whether or not I’m interested in letting you into my personal life. Call me selfish, but it won’t change. I’m not talking about whether I like a person or not, because it really takes a lot for me to dislike someone. There’s also a difference between good friends and acquaintances. I have many people that I enjoy being around, but I only have a couple that I genuinely trust. I’m strictly saying that I choose my friends very carefully.

I’ve seen (and experienced) the effects of being too trusting, and the feeling of betrayal is one I would not wish on anyone. I’ve never understood how people can be fake, if I’m being honest. If I don’t like someone, I literally cannot act like I do. It isn’t possible. I can be civil and mature about it, obviously, but I won’t ever act like I love you then turn around and say nasty things.

That’s one of the first and main things that turns me off when I meet someone. I can read superficiality very easily, and it immediately flips a switch in me from curious to uninterested. I’ve had many people in my life that are so shallow and two faced, and quite frankly I find it extremely boring. It’s like taking the easy path in life. I would rather have zero friends than only have fake ones. Pretending you care by asking personal questions only to spill the answers and gossip to another person later? Depending on me to be there for you to give advice, or lend an ear to listen to your struggles, yet when I need someone you’re nowhere to be found? Even just the kind of “friend” that only wants to be your friend when it’s convenient for them. That’s the easy way. That’s the dull, shallow kind of ‘friendship’ that I want nothing to do with. If I’m your friend, you’re my friend.

I take friendship very seriously, if it isn’t clear to you by now, and I can be a little unforgiving at times if someone breaks my trust. I give chances and I’m very understanding, but only to a point. If me giving chances and being understanding compromises my happiness or turns into me being taken advantage of, forget it.

I’ve found that it’s much easier, and much less painful to just let go of people. Let go of relationships of any kind where the cons outweigh the pros. I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s not even being selfish, it’s just doing what you can to make your life more positive. Negative relationships weigh on you, and bring you down when it isn’t necessary. A friendship or any kind of relationship is important, and letting go of the wrong one is not a bad thing to do. Choose the people you surround yourself with carefully. The company you keep reflects you, and the kind of friends you have are most likely the kind of friend you are.

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